A Very Short Story
About Senator Joseph Lieberman
and the 2000
Michael D. Robbins
The U.S. Senate convened on January 7,
2000 to count
the Electoral College votes and declare
George W. Bush the official winner and
of the United States.
Vice President Al Gore, the loser, had
duty as President of the Senate to make
Al Gore's runningmate, Senator Joseph Lieberman,
their good friend Senator Ted Kennedy,
could not bear
the agony of this final symbol of defeat.
In their despair, the two Democrat Senators
go to a bar and have some drinks. It was
Jewish Sabbath, and Senator Lieberman
decided to let
Ted Kennedy drive.
"After all," Senator Lieberman thought,
" how could matters
possibly be any worse than they already
They arrived at the bar safely, but after
leaving the bar,
Ted Kennedy drove off the road and crashed
into the river.
Both Senators were killed in the accident.
Ted Kennedy went straight to Hell and was
never seen again.
Joe Lieberman went to a waiting area just
outside the pearly
white gates of Heaven, where he saw numerous
uniform, each carrying an American flag,
being waived on
through the gates.
Finally, Lieberman was called into a special
where he was greeted by the Angel who
would review his
"Senator Lieberman," the Angel said, "You
accomplishments and mitzvahs in your record,
public criticism of President Clinton's
adultery, perjury, and
numerous lies. Also, you publicly criticized
Hollywood and the
entertainment industry for promoting sinful
behavior of all kinds.
However, you failed to vote for conviction
And you solicited and accepted large political
from those same Hollywood special interests
that you criticized."
Senator Lieberman thought to himself, "I
still have a good
chance of getting into Heaven."
But then the Angel continued. "And more
violated the commandment against stealing
helped Al Gore and the Democrats in their
efforts to steal
the 2000 Presidential Election!"
Senator Lieberman, a lawyer by profession,
thought very carefully, and then looked
up and responded,
"Yes, that is true, but even though we
tried very hard, we
were unsuccessful, and no theft actually
To this, the Angel replied, "And then you
commandments against lying and bearing
when you accused George Bush and the Republicans
trying to steal the election. And you
also denied thousands
of military men and women their lawful
right to have their
votes counted, while at the same time
you stated publicly
that every vote must be counted!"
Lieberman's face turned bright red as he
waited to hear
The Angel then announced, "Senator Lieberman,
will be decided by a tribunal of veterans,
the ones you saw
entering the gates earlier!"
Lieberman's face turned white as a ghost.
He thought for a moment, and then he smiled.
"I request a change in venue!" he told
"Are you sure?" asked the Angel.
The Senator responded confidently, "Yes,
I am sure!"
"Okay," the Angel replied, "then you can
go to Hell!"
Copyright ©2001 by Michael
D. Robbins. All rights reserved.
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